Shapes

Bitchfest: Met Ball 2014

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Decadence. Timelessness. Glamour.

All things that were noticeably missing at last night’s annual Met Ball honoring the work of American couturier Charles James.

Sure there were some YAAAAAS moments as the looques walked up that red carpet, but honey last night was a Hot. Mess. And this is our bitchfest:

annabee
When Queen Wintour and daughter Bee Shaffer slayed the carpet before anyone else even had a chance and I was like DAMN, born into the wrong family AGAIN

SJPFINAL

When Oscar de la Renta could’ve been HBA and I totally would’ve believed it

MaggieQ

When I wondered how Maggie Q is supposed to sit in that Zac Posen dress

dita2

When I wondered how Dita Von Teese sits ever

Katie Holmes : Gettybelle

When Belle did it better

AltuzarraWhen I literally gasped and my co-worker came over asking what was wrong.

SANDRALEEWHEN I LOST ALL HOPE
#PRAY4SANDRA

liu wen zac posen onsugarWhen Liu Wen performed CPR and brought me back to life

karolinakurkovedailymail

When Karolina Kurkova kept the Models Killing Everyone Else train goin’
#yaaaas

arizona muse glamourWhen Arizona Muse kept the train going.

kendalljennerdailymailToniGarrnWhen Kendall, Chanel, Jordan and Toni wore Topshop and fucked the train up.
Call 911, we need a steamer on 100 5th Ave STAT.

 ririeyesririeyes2ririeyes3

Riri. I know those eyes. Is it just the carpet color or…?

KarenElsonWhen Karen Elson GOT THE MEMO and brought me CINDERELLA GLAM.
YAAAAAAS.

rockawayWhen Cara apparently didn’t get the memo.
Girl. Met Ball Celebrates Baby Phat is NEXT YEAR’S THEME, DUH.

WHO?When I gave up. Like, when I fucking gave up.

Sarah SilvermanWhen Sarah Silverman was clearly abducted by aliens and replaced by this STUNNING CREATURE?

Diane Von Fusternburg When DvF displayed her forward taste in celebrities.

lenahairWhen I wasn’t mad at it.

AlexaChungWhen I still wasn’t mad at it, though a platform shoe would’ve really helped girl.

721-master-1024-v1When I couldn’t believe I not only wasn’t mad at it, but actually liked it, but then took one look at the shoe and quickly changed my mind. WE COULD’VE HAD IT ALL, KIM. WE COULD’VE FINALLY HAD IT ALL.

RihannaWhen Rihanna sobered up and apparently changed into this magenta number.

Proenza Imogen PootsWhen the Proenza boys showed up and who cares about fashion look at them just look.

ritaora

OH RITA……… JUST…………..

marnieeee

When Marnie wore another pretty dress. Good job Marnie.

sochiWhen somebody finally wore shoes that went with their outfit. Thank you Elizabeth Olsen.

DonatellaWhen Donatella asked, “WHEN WILL YOU EVER?”

Hayden Panitierre DressWhen our high school’s prom queen got lost, ended up at the Met Ball and our principal was so,so  proud.

Chloe

When I literally cried because omg Chloe what happened.

Beyonce : Getty

When the world said for the first time, “Wow, it must be so nice to be Beyoncé!”

And finally…..

anne

…When I finally acknowledged Anne after ignoring her at the Oscars.

But in all seriousness, they dress up for our enjoyment. Don’t they?
And whether tragic or stunning, I thoroughly enjoyed it. Thank you Anna.

images from Fashin, Getty, OnSugar, DailyMail, Tumblr, CocoPerez

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