The Great Gatsby premier at the Cannes festival was not days, but hours ago. That’s right: hours. We’re on some Breaking News shit right now. That said, it was the biggest collection of pure glam and ratchet jank we’ve ever seen assembled on the red rug. Not shoe related (unless maybe we’re talking about Julianne Moore [we'll get there]) but essential to your well-being: take a peek through the looques that are bringing us life.


Screen Shot 2013-05-15 at 5.05.51 PM

When the queen of tonight’s prom Daisy Buchanan (AKA Carey Mulligan) knew she was nailing it, and didn’t even bother for a proper red carpet posing moment.

Isla FisherWhen Isla Fisher said “Hey! I was in the movie too you know.”

Screen Shot 2013-05-15 at 5.10.37 PM

When Cindy Crawford took to the stage to remind you that she’s still relevent. YOU HEAR ME? SHE AND HER GIRLS STILL GOT IT. NOTICE THEM HER!!

Fan BingBing 3

Screen Shot 2013-05-15 at 5.22.49 PM

When Chinese can-do-no-wrong-er (literally) Fan Bingbing showed up and SHOWED DOWN in Louis Vuitton’s first custom gown ever made for an Asian. Writing history books like a boss bitch—until…..

zhang yugi 4

Screen Shot 2013-05-15 at 5.30.41 PM….muthafuckin Zhang Yugi stole everyone’s attention in Ulyana Sergeenko Russian kootyure.


When Solestruck idol Solange JUST evaded the deadly Ferrero Rocher reference by topping her looque with an afro and serving Foxy Cleopatra magic. By a slim margin, but APPROVED.

Bai LingWhen Bai Ling came along… and made me very very sad….

Screen Shot 2013-05-15 at 5.41.37 PMWhen original Geisha queen came, crouched and slayed the janky Bai Ling residue away with her legendary Christian Dior couture.

Screen Shot 2013-05-15 at 5.49.12 PMWhen Kidman continued the Dior party. #vanilla #nothingtosay #cuteshoesdoe

Julienne MooreWhen Juilianne Moore kept the Dior train runni- wait. WAIT. IS THAT….

Screen Shot 2013-05-15 at 5.59.17 PMIS THAT DIOR WITH A SIDE OF……… SHRIMP COCKTAIL??!?!?

Screen Shot 2013-05-15 at 6.01.41 PM

Screen Shot 2013-05-15 at 6.31.44 PMWhen Darling Del Rey was the only one who got the ’20s memo. #nailingit

Screen Shot 2013-05-15 at 6.53.05 PM

When Darling’s musician friend Florence got the shoes and bitch nails right… but that’s about it.


When Cara Delevigne shot straight from zero…

Cara D

cara 3

…to muthafuckin’ hero. ARE YOU BOWING TO HER AND HER BURBERRY?

Pheobe Price

When this poor thing got the wrong address to whatever Princess Party she was trying to get to.. :T


When Sona Kapoor went Desi.

Amitabh Bachchan

When Amitabh Bachchan went Bollywood… I guess…


images via Huffington Post, Tumblr, OhNoTheyDidnt, JustJared, Getty Images

  • Kendall

    Lana Del Rey = Always The Best! Looking Drop Dead Stunning

    But Seriously Julianne Moore With Those Toes, It’s Almost Too Much To Bear!

  • Jason Simone

    Cara Delevigne.

    Jaw. Dropped. Open.

    It’s still there. On the floor.

  • Jaime

    Dear god Lana is perfect. But I don’t think ive ever seen anything worst than juliannes toes. vom.

  • Alexa

    Cara Delevingne….. this has to be some kind of sick joke..
    Exact same thing happened as with Jason

  • maria

    whoever wrote this is my twin… literally my mental processing