Shapes

CRAZED JEFFREY CAMPBELL FANS GATHER OUTSIDE OUR OFFICE.

As I opened the office this morning, cruising into the parking lot 15 minutes early I might add, I thought it odd that about 400 women and girls were standing outside the door with signs, banners, in costumes, in groups and in droves. Some where crying, chanting, dancing, some where standing as if paralyzed. I clutched the steering wheel and felt a thin bead of sweat drip from my hairline. I clutched my keys and bagel as I got out of the car….then I heard the chants, their voices combined into one as I took another bite of the crispy bagel. Cream cheese fell onto my jeans.

“LITA. LITA. LITA. LITA. LITA. LITA. LITA.”
Has it really come to this?

Ladies and gentleman, meet the newest JC version of the insanely famous LITA bootie. MULTI GLITTER.

I am scared to say it, but, quantities are limited. Shop now. Shop hard.

(*Please note this story is fiction. Please do not come to our office. The above girls are actually in line to marry the Jonas brothers. However, the limited quantity of this new arrival is very real. I also did drop cream cheese on my jeans. Damn. I was not however 15 minutes early to work. Enjoy.)

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