Yessssss. We (and by we, I do not mean I) finally went to the holy grail of bros, weird kids on drugs, and uhm, I think there’s some music, too? Essentially the MTV of festivals. From the tiny screen on my iphone, it looked like #hella fun. I’ll say this though, if the bed bug bites (THANK YOU GARDEN VISTA, YOU SCUZZY BASTARDS) on our To Be Announced brand manager are the consolation prize to the weekend, I’m fine sitting pretty here in Portland.
First up on their booze fueled itinerary was crashing the Opening Ceremony x Teva party at the Saguaro where they saw Twigs perform, but more importantly were able to stalk Solange who appeared like a unicorn in a sea of donkeys.
They also tried to get stalker-style photos of said Unicorn, but her peeps were quick to ward them off in respect of Twigs. Whatev.
Then they headed back to the Ace for a little break and ran into these babes:
Posted up at the Ace, the girls rallied for the Marc by Marc Jacobs Sunnies party that was part of #DesertGold2014 to take cheesy postcard pics and mingle with some of our favorite people, including the latest Willis on everyone’s radar.
The place that everyone wants to be at, A Club Called Rhonda, hosted their annual shindig at The Saguaro and naturally, our girls had to gravitate towards the freaks of our own kind (being around on these uber fashion people is hard! We just wanna get weird).
Children, take note – this is the epitome of (desert) glamour.
Host Phyllis / Busty boob queen Yozmit
After the horrible bed bug incident, our local friend and HBIC of Portland Connie Wohn (bless you, angel) not only set the girls up with a pest free (AGAIN, we’re looking at you Garden Vista -_-) hotel room, but got them into the super exclusive Jeremy Scott x Adidas party where they met freaks of a whole different level, including the man himself – Jeremy motherfuckin’ Scott.
And thank God for this abundance fruit, suckers, cheetohs and funyuns – without which they surely would have died.
Anna posing with one of our biggest girl crushes ever, Rose McGowen and if you don’t know who that is go watch Jawbreakers right now and then proceed to punish yourself for your ignorance / Anna again, this time with supermodel Chanel Iman
Rita Ora, that one pirate looking model I’ve seen all over tumblr but for some reason can’t think of his name, and crew / Alex Baldwin (we know – amazing) of Nasty Gal with Rita Ora
The ladies rounded out the weekend with The Do Over held at the Ace Hotel where they were so fortunate to see Questlove play and had a little hotel party of their own with 7 babes and a hefty bottle of vodka. JEALOUS.
Questlove performing and being all around awesome 4 da fans
Alyssa Bernal playing a little low down gig of her own for the people
In conclusion, not Coachella was awesome, but clearly actual Coachella was 10,000 fucking times better and we will see you there next year, bitches!