Shapes

I Hate Him Because He’s Pretty.

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For those who spend hours reading fashion show reviews, stalking male models’ instagram accounts, drooling over collections we just might kill a person for and stumbling into tumblr K-holes (me, I am that person), its no news that high-fashion sportswear has do-mi-na-ted the menswear scene. Hashtag-sport. However, in the wake of this olympian phenomenon, I’ve come to notice another menswear aesthetic quietly but surely plotting its own sartorial domination: the lady boy.

The past month’s Spring 2015 menswear shows in London, Milan and Paris displayed a perfect storm of feminine-meets-masculine, flamboyant, vintage-esq. pretty boys prepping to infiltrate high-fashion one blush-heavy cheekbone at a time. There are the gender-bending collections that got me drooling the hardest:

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When it comes to unconventional menswear, everyone knows that JW ANDERSON (total hottie btw) delivers. I still swoon for his Fall 2013 ruffled tops and bottoms. That said, Anderson’s latest Spring 2015 collection is literally my fantasies actualized. I personally run a sharp pair of shears through almost every top I own, so these plunging necklines, exposed midriffs and off-shoulder button-ups have me breathless.

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Photo: Getty Images Europe & Philip Trengove

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And TOPMAN? Well, basically: I’m wearing the perfect boot-cut trouser with a blouse-y floral shirt driving my 1974 cherry-red Falcon 100 miles per hour down winding roads along route 66 with Trip Fontaine from “The Virgin Suicides” in the passenger seat rolling a doobie. Because he is my 1970′s gay boyfriend in this dream sequence scenario, obviously. *Le Sigh*

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Photo: Philip Trengove

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In truth to her brand, ASTRID ANDERSON undoubtedly surfed the sportswear wave with her men’s collection this season, but boy did she give it a girly twist! Enter leggings, lace, fuchsia and, wait, is that a sports-bra? Her sexy, kimono-clad, ninja-shoe-wearing sumo wrestlers with abs sharp enough to grate cheese had me simply hurt. For a second, I couldn’t breathe. True love hurts you guys.

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Photos: Russ Mcclintock

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I’ll keep this one short: I’m convinced KATIE EARY was a porn star. In the 1970′s, Eary was definitely a high-end porn star hella high on acid, churning out such authentically-vintage yet utterly-contemporary collections that would later dick-whip 2014′s uninspired menswear scene back into some fucking boogie. How else do you explain this FLAWLESS piece of work that is Katie Eary Spring 2015? Beam a bitch up though! Am I right? I’m right.

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Photos: Philip Trengove

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And last but not least, my hero, the ever-controversial, Hedi Slimane. I would literally tattoo his name across my chest if drunk enough and dared to by some asshole friend that apparently isn’t really my friend. For me, the re-born SAINT LAURENT consistently claims the epitome of cool season after season. Slimane’s Spring 2015 collection is an obvious ode to his new home of Southern California, with a generous pinch of rock n’ roll 60′s peacock mixed in. I, ever the Brian Jones fan, and hailing from Orange County myself, cannot be more in-love. Superbe!

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Photos: Vogue Paris

IN CONCLUSION. To all my fellow dare-to-bare fashion-obsessed shoe whore boys out there, our time is totally now. Go gut your closets right this minute and figure out how you shall infiltrate the men’s world with some much-needed flavor. That’s where you’ll find me.

“Does this look Saint-Laurent chic? Or am I giving Katie-Eary space cowboy? I’m going for both.”

Cheers!

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