Shapes

If Famous Women Talked Like My Friends

Some of my most beautiful friends suffer with the worst insecurities.

Just tonight, I watched one of them take a thousand selfies of her new hair color and tell me she “just need[s] a really good one,” and that all of her previous ones were “ugly.”

This is RIDICULOUS.

What if famous women talked about themselves this way?

CandiceSwanepoel_nose

Candice Swanepoel, Victoria’s Secret Angel.

Rihanna_neck

Rihanna, badgal.

Lupita_shoulders

Lupita Nyong’o, inspirational hurricane.

Emma_lips

Emma Watson, my girl crush.

Jourdan_outtie

Jourdan Dunn, fashion model.

Hilary_sexy

Hilary Clinton, Woman.

Yolandi_hair

Yolandi, bad-ass.

Caroline_forehead

Carolina Wozniack, Scandinavian beast.

Xiao_boobs

Xiao Wen-Ju, my forever fashion muse.

Amanda_nails

Karen Smith, popular girl.

Beth_fat

Beth Ditto, rockstar.

Jenn_lashes

Jenn Im, personal style/beauty guru.

Kate_armpit

Kate Upton, wet dream of America.

Yuna_pale

Yuna Kim, Olympic goddess.

Sotomayor_chin

Sonia Sotomayor, first U.S. Justice of hispanic decent, bitches.

Lindsey_teeth

Lindsey Wixson, The Face.

Malala_brows

Malala Yousafzai, education reformist that you cannot ignore.

MerylHelen_age

Meryl Streep & Helen Mirren, the high bar of inner-beauty.

Oprah_thighs

Oprah, ruler of the free world.

These women aren’t perfect, and it doesn’t matter.
The same applies to you, girl.

Save yourself expensive cosmetics, months of dieting and dangerous surgeries. Start with self-acceptance, and love whatever it is that makes you beautiful: sick personal style, eloquence, political prowess, thin ankles, confidence?

Sleazy men and sleazier advertisements will not stop the objectification and sexualization of women until women take it upon themselves to prove society otherwise. All this obsessive talk of physical shortcomings (that nobody else actually sees) are stunting female liberation.

GET A GRIP.

Love,
your gay friend who cares about you

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